You Emmet-Kook-Turtle Rooter?! Surf slag-offs & other nicknames

This week a friend of mine used a funny term for a bodyboarder that I hadn’t heard before – ‘turtle rooter’

Granted it’s pretty derogatory, but at the same time it’s quite funny, and it got me thinking about the slang nicknames used in surfing.

Bodyboarders seem to have been awarded the most negative nicknames, but I’m wondering whether if its because they are ‘soft targets’.

It seems nicknaming is always evolving too, and its a truly international pastime. A couple of years ago surfers in San Diego, CA started calling stand up paddle boarders ‘Oarons’. I mean whoever came up with that has a genuinely creative mind (or the retarded humour of a 15-year old…you can decide which).

Ok, so here are some of the more amusing ‘mean-but-funny’ nicknames we seem to enjoy dishing out on each other in the water.

#1 ‘Goat boater’ or ‘goat boat’ – Derogatory term to describe kayakers. (I’m surprised there aren’t more for this lot?)

#2 Sponger, dick dragger, shark biscuit, speed bump, turtle rooter – A selection of nicknames for bodyboarders that I imagine they don’t really like…I mean speed bump is sort of encouraging surfers to run over them.

#3 Sponge, mat, esky lid – Some more derogatory terms to describe the body board itself.

#4 Planker, wiggle stick, butt waggler, hardboarder, fiber donkeys – Various nicknames for stand up surfers predominantly coming from the body boarding crowd.

#5 ‘oarons’, Janitors and Ocean Sweepers – Some derogatory nicknames for our friends the stand up paddle boarders.

And a few others:

# 6 Kook – Well I guess everyone knows this one, but you can’t leave it out. Mainly used to describe a beginner or someone who’s not that good at surfing, or someone who surfs just to try and look cool. Also used to describe someone who isn’t very observant in the line-up and drops in.

#7 Namer – A surfer who publicly uses the name of a secret surfing spot. It’s used in a derogatory way, as the naming of secret spots can result in crowded line-ups.

#8 Emmet/ emmit/ emit – This is a local Cornish term used to describe tourists usually used in a negative context.

So I suppose you could technically be an ‘Emmet–kook–turtle rooter’ – I guess that’s about as bad as it gets!

Do you use any nicknames for surfers, kayakers, bodyboarders or stand up paddle boarders not mentioned here? Let us know in the comments section below!